Ah, hell with it.
I'm sick today. And on my computer, of course. Why not do a top fifty SpongeBob SquarePants cartoons? Happy Friday, April 24th, everyone. I'm ready.
50) "Krab Borg" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "It was rated argh!"
49) "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy III" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "It's not my wallet."
48) "Can You Spare a Dime?" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Like brothers, but closer."
47) "The Inmates of Summer" (Season 4 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The Together song.
46) "SpongeGuard on Duty" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "...get hit by a flying ice cream truck. And live!"
45) "Squilliam Returns" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Please, I have three kids!"
44) "Boating School" (Season 1 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "I'm cheating, Mrs. Puff!"
43) "Skill Crane" (Season 4 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "I guess I can only pick up toys."
42) "Pest of the West" (Season 5 special)
Unparticular highlight: "I ain't yer pa."
41) "The Fry Cook Games" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "My name's...not...Rick!"
40) "To Save a Squirrel" (Season 4 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The majestically appearing food battle.
39) "Krusty Krab Training Video" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Hooplah!"
38) "Welcome to the Chum Bucket" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The "This Grill is Not a Home" song.
37) "Big Pink Loser" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "No, this is Patrick."
36) "SpongeBob Meets the Strangler" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The entire key/window/eyes scene.
35) "Life of Crime" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Yah, buns and thighs."
34) "Sandy's Rocket" (Season 1 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Twins."
33) "Squidtastic Voyage" (Season 4 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "What's a re-ee-ed?"
32) "The Algae's Always Greener" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "I don't understand. Is there a gas leak in here?"
31) "Mrs. Puff, You're Fired" (Season 4 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The bonbon scene.
30) "Sailor Mouth" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Not if you're a sailor."
29) "It's a SpongeBob Christmas!" (Season 8 special)
Unparticular highlight: "Don't be a jeerrk! It's Christmas!"
28) "The Snowball Effect" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: Squidward's slowly growing enjoyment of the snow.
27) "Valentine's Day" (Season 1 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Attention everybody, there's a chubby pink starfish on the loose!"
26) "Nasty Patty" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "We killed him!"
25) "No Weenies Allowed" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The entire opening scene.
24) "Wet Painters" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Two giant paint bubbles!"
23) "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy" (Season 1 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "You may kiss the bride!"
22) "Krusty Love" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: Mr. Krab's illegable attempts to ask Mrs. Puff on a date.
21) "Frankendoodle" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Finland!"
20) "Plankton's Army" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The Sheldon scene.
19) "Krusty Towers" (Season 4 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The many designs of Squidward's room scene.
18) "Graveyard Shift" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "The sash-wringing, the flash-singing--" OR "Nosferatu!"
17) "Roller Cowards" (Season 5 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The ice cream scene.
16) "Survival of the Idiots" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Who're you calling pinhead?"
15) "Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy V" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: Everyone laughing at the end.
14) "Christmas Who?" (Season 2 special)
Unparticular highlight: Squidward pretends to be Santa for SpongeBob.
13) "That's No Lady" (Season 4 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Dude, your girlfriend is not ugly."
12) "Shanghaied" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Awoooooooo!" "Aaaaaaaaaa!" "Leedle-leedle-leedle-lee!"
11) "Pickles" (Season 1 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "And there's my car keys!"
10) "Dunces and Dragons" (Season 4 special)
Unparticular highlight: The "The King is Bad" song.
09) "Wormy" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "No, that's Italian, SpongeBob."
08) "Jellyfishing" (Season 1 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Firmly grasp it!"
07) "F.U.N." (Season 1 episode)
Unparticular highlight: The song. Everyone loves the song.
06) "The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water" (Theatrical film)
Unparticular highlight: The time travel scenes.
05) "Have You Seen This Snail?" (Season 4 special)
Unparticular highlight: The "Gary Come Home" song.
04) "The Camping Episode" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "I don't know, I guess he just doesn't like you!"
03) "Chocolate with Nuts" (Season 3 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "I remember when they first invented chocolate. Sweet, sweet chocolate. I always hated it!" OR "Chocolate!"
02) "The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie" (Theatrical film)
Unparticular highlight: SpongeBob and Patrick face off against Dennis on the Hasselhoff.
01) "Band Geeks" (Season 2 episode)
Unparticular highlight: "Sweeet, sweeet victory...."
And, now, because I have seven hours left alone (whoop), why not Spongeboard into The Numbers? Let's rank all present seasons, sailors.
The Numbers:
01) How did Season One do?
Episodes present: Seven
Total decency (out of 1276): +203
02) How did Season Two do?
Episodes present: Thirteen
Total decency (out of 1276): +369
03) How did Season Three do?
Episodes present: Sixteen
Total decency (out of 1276): +327
04) How did Season Four do?
Episodes present: Nine
Total decency (out of 1276): +218
05) How did Season Five do?
Episodes present: Two
Total decency (out of 1276): +43
06) How did Season Six do?
Episodes present: Zero
Total decency (out of 1276): +0
07) How did Season Seven do?
Episodes present: Zero
Total decency (out of 1276): +0
08) How did Season Eight do?
Episodes present: One
Total decency (out of 1276): +22
09) How did Season Nine do?
Episodes present: Zero
Total decency (out of 1276): +0
10) How did the movies do?
Movies present: Two
Total decency (out of 1276): +94
203 + 07 = 210
369 + 13 = 382
327 + 16 = 343
218 + 09 = 227
043 + 02 = 045
000 + 00 = 000
000 + 00 = 000
022 + 01 = 023
000 + 00 = 000
094 + 02 = 096
Therefore, in terms of the combined total points, the show ratings provided by the numbers are:
1) Season Two
2) Season Three
3) Season Four
4) Season One
5) The movies
6) Season Four
7) Season Eight
8) Seasons Six, Seven, and Nine
And, yeah. Pretty much. I may recieve some mental flak for ranking Season Four over Season One, but keep in mind, I'm the kind of fan who feels the show began to deteriorate somewhere around Season Five. And, while, true, there were more bad episodes in Four than One, overall, I like the good episodes there more.
Now, for the bottom of the barrel.
Top 10 Dishonorable Mentions:
01) "I'm with Stupid" (Season Two)
02) "All That Glitters" (Season Four)
03) "Atlantis SquarePantis" (Season Five)
04) "Gone" (Season Six)
05) "Pet or Pests" (Season Six)
06) "A Pal for Gary" (Season Seven)
07) "Yours, Mine and Mine" (Season Seven)
08) "One Coarse Meal" (Season Seven)
09) "Demolition Doofus" (Season Eight)
10) "Little Yellow Book" (Season Nine)
WHOO.
There we are. Another top fifty for all who're now forcibly part of the club by reading thi--Dimensionals. I hope you enjoyed reading, and I hope you liked it well enough that now, you're hooked. Ha. Naught but Krabby Patties for y'all.
See you soon.
Expect that Chuck top ten soon enough, and possibly some Marvel content due to...you know what.
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